How to Start Being More Than a Performative Ally for Black Queer Feminist Urbanists

Being an ally of Black Queer Feminist Urbanism is not passive or automatic. It requires standing in the gap between the inequity and filling in the gap towards true liberation and justice.

This is The Black Urbanist Weekly, an email newsletter that highlights the Black Queer Feminist Urbanist thoughts and commentary of me, Kristen Jeffers, internationally known urban planner, designer, analyst, keynote speaker, media maven, and fiber artist. This week I go into what it takes to be a Black Queer Feminist Urbanist ally. One of the first ways to be an ally is sponsorship for this newsletter either through Patreon or through our main advertising system. Scroll down to the Before You Go section to learn more about how you can become a sponsor/advertiser.

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Do the reading, and let it sink in.

Speak up, not just when something is wrong, but when something is going right.

If you run a business or organization: audit yourself to see if your compensation packages, workloads, strategic partners, and values/mission are conducive to a diverse and inclusive workplace.

The statements above are what usually come with instructions on how to be an ally to marginalized people, along with don’t be ___________(fill in the ism/ist here).

However, I’m a believer that one doesn’t become an ally as much as they are invited to be an ally. Why?

Because a lot of the time you could spend being an ally, you could be dismantling and rebuilding the system that you’re serving as an ally for the marginalized person to survive in the first place. If you stop short of doing this system replacement, then this is how your allyship gets labeled as performative. Yes, even if some of us pat you on the back and say we liked your mural or we are thankful for your small donation.

I believe that Black queer feminist urbanists, who are often Black women or gender-expansive people, who often are under and unpaid, many who don’t have adequate access to housing, transportation or healthcare, deserve more than survival. We deserve ease as we process and overcome these marginalizations and injustice. We deserve thrivance when we do decide to be active.

And of course, we deserve to not be broke, homeless, sick or left on the side of the road — especially since many of these issues are preventable.

Allyship that goes beyond performance, prevents, heals, and builds the structures that make us thrive.

Yet, when we go beyond being Black and add queer, feminist, and urbanist on top, we often find ourselves needing allies from within our racial communities.

We need folks that understand that everyone’s dream is not 2.5 children (seriously, a half child?), a picket fence and mini-mansion and to work dehumanizing jobs for still too small and unfair salaries to just barely afford and maintain it all.

That someone’s dream is a nice condo or rowhouse, with a working bus stop, to a humanizing occupation and fulfilling cultural opportunities, with just enough space to paint by the window or have neighborhood folks build a community garden.

A dream that is stewarded by community leaders that believe in collective abundance and liberation, not just bounty for oneself in the name of Black Power.

Or to travel around and be free from the intense grind of an American Dream that never really included all of us anyway, to make a real choice about where on Earth they would like to reside.

We also need folks that understand that gender has always been expandable and flexible, even at a young age.

And if that gender leans feminine in any shape or form, it’s not weaker or a sign that they have no real value in culture besides subjugation. No one deserves abuse and we all can heal from ways we abuse others and ourselves.

For those of us who have managed to break the shackles of unequal compensation, let’s invest not in companies that might not be companies tomorrow, but in communities that deserve to maintain at least a notion of legacy.

And finally, just because someone’s body doesn’t live up to our society’s standards that demand its constant grinding or that it even function or look a certain way, we don’t cast them aside in the name of a progress that doesn’t really include us either, when we get to the very top.

Ultimately, we all can function better in a world that lives under the why’s of Black queer feminist urbanism I shared a few letters ago, and upholding and enabling those whys as someone who only shares some or shares none of these intersections, is what makes one an ally.

Next week, unless you’re already in the lounge with us as a Black queer feminist urbanist, I’m going to help you affirm yourself as one and to recognize when someone is being a true ally and not just performing allyship.

Before You Go

As I said before, advertising or pledging support to Black queer femnist platforms like this one is a perfect way to be an ally and guess what, this is a transformative work! You can also advertise Black, queer, and/or feminist venture, run your birthday or anniversary or congratulations message, or something else that’s not job or conference or heavily design/construction/policy industry related. Even though the ads normally come with a $75/week price tag for a month-long commitment, I do have a one-off option for $155 for one week, and if you’re a Black queer feminist venture on a budget, your ad could be free. Reply back to this email if you’re ready to place an ad and learn more about advertising across this platform.

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Speaking of those outside ads, you can tell me in this survey what kind of ads you want to receive and a little more about who you are in a way that I can better write this newsletter for you. Also, you may still receive two versions of this newsletter, on Mailchimp and Substack, depending on how you subscribed and when you subscribed. If you want to unsubscribe from one or both versions, be sure to do so using the unsubscribe link provided in the emails run by the respective services. Or, you can keep deleting or ignoring the version you don’t like, lol. Remember, there will always be a free version of this newsletter, but you can scroll below for links to ways besides advertising to support this newsletter.

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The Black Queer Feminist Urbanist Lounge is open for fellow Black Queer Feminist Urbanists to walk through this world together. What you’ll see in these next few emails is how our allies should show up and work to create this space for us, but we will be digging deeper into how to create this space for ourselves and what the whys and definitions should be in the Lounge. Lounge members are eligible for scholarships for my coaching and consulting services and lounge membership is free. Also, I’ve decided to not do an in-person Black Queer Feminist Urbanist summit in 2022, but I will be adding an event calendar for Black, queer, feminist, and/or urbanist events and I’ll be announcing some digital seminar/panel style events for later this year, that you’ll be able to either watch live or listen/watch at your leisure.

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My consulting services will actually be housed at my soon-to-be-revamped personal website for anyone who needs moving, resumes, career, and other help. If you’re ready to book a season, email directly at kristen@theblackurbanist.com and request a strategy service. The first 30-minute clarity session is free, then subsequent sessions starting at $150 for one follow-up session and $75/session for a package of four.

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If you just want to support me for any reason, but don’t need anything in return, you can become a monthly Patreon supporter, or you can donate to my capital campaign, or Venmo or Cash. App me.

Until next time,

Kristen