Our cities, our lives, are depressing sometimes.
Trigger warning for discussion of depression and how folks cope with it, namely me.
Those of you who have followed my work over the years know that I’m no stranger to the struggles of anxiety and depression. Or maybe you didn’t know and wondered why I would disappear offline for weeks. Why I’m not at a particular conference or being friendly at the ones I do attend (including this weekend). Why this newsletter is called a weekly, but sometimes shows up as a monthly. Travel helps, but sometimes it shakes up the routine that keeps me from falling too far on the deep end.
Last month was National Mental Health Awareness Month and I linked to my article,The Continuous Quest to Mentally Cope With Modern Civic Life as a Young Black WomanProfessional. I wrote the article in an especially dark place for me last spring, on coping with being someone like myself, a lover of vibrant cities and creating things, with more introversion and depression than I like to admit, as I adjusted to my third city in three years. (And it’s now up to four and could be more…)
And of course, many of us have seen and been shocked by the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I, unfortunately, had not had the chance to really watch Bourdain’s work, but everything I heard was great and I’m sad that there’s a clear period to it.
Meanwhile, when I still lived in Kansas City, Spade came to Halls at the Crown Center to debut her new line. I readthe article about this in the Starand learned that she was a Kansas Citian who seemed to have all the right connections for the town: white, straight, cis, wealthy from birth and even more so now, husband and kid, Catholic school growing up, now a store that bore her name on the Plaza and even though she’d sold that version of the business, she still had the courage to start another.
Unlike me at the time, who couldn’t put my finger on the fact that what I had was depression, sometimes of the manic nature, but almost always an idea of hopelessness. I was guilty of doing what Brene Brown has called creating a “dangerous” story on what her life must have been like, in the midst of me coming to terms with not having a city, one city, any city, as well as this hobby, turned profession meet everything that I could possibly need.
Now I know that she may have been doing similar things and she even mentioned being afraid that her brand would suffer because people would know that she struggled, if she went to treatment.
I look back and even as I was a child drawing pictures of Apricot Preserves jars taking Amtrak, I was also dealing with a natural propensity to think the worst and assume the worst, so it didn’t just start.
Hearing about her struggle and end has me doing more evaluation and realizing that one, I can’t assume things and two, I need to do what I can to be grateful about where I am and what I have done. Oh and I need to give myself space to be negative, but understand that there’s lots of joy left in this world.
That’s not always easy when you’ve made it your career, and often been forced, to critique and call out harmful systems. You want to make sure the system knows that its time is up and that in order for all of us to be free of pressure, shame, harm, and violence, we have to let go.
But that’s just it, we all have to examine ourselves, let go and be open to light. For some of us, that’s taking breaks from the work and mentoring others. For others, it’s deciding to shift some of the power and resources to a better good. And for others, it’s both.
You’ve seen this number a lot of places, but here it is again:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
TTY at 1-800-799-4889
I have called this number several times myself and it’s not just for when you want to end it all, but for any time you feel like you’re at the deep end and just need someone to talk you through. The website also has a ton of resources too.
In my Personal Shoutouts this week, I’m going to include several more tools I use to get myself through the doldrums and as I mentioned before, as we come to the middle of the year, I’m taking more time to assess where I am and where I need to be and how I can get stronger.
Now, on to my professional life, and some other fun things.
My Life as a Professional Urbanist
I had this newsletter ready to go on Friday, but by the time I got down to the Association for Community Design’s annual conference, which was literally right down the street, I realized that meeting and greeting so many of you who were there was going to be the order of the day. That and doing our Baltimore Complete Streets panel. It was great to have this conversation again and also good to see so many of the folks I connected with when I was in Minneapolis two years ago. And yes, you can still find the Minneapolis presentation book online.
I’ll also be at theAllied Media ConferenceFriday-Sunday of this week and I’ll be in LA at the end of July. More details forthcoming about that. Also, still working on the very special live career questions episode, as well as more new regular episodes as well as a few other writing projects.
Personal Urbanism, Shoutouts, and Recommendations
As I mentioned at the beginning of this email, there are things I do that get me back to 100%. Two of those things are Insight Timer and Shine Text.
Insight Timeris a free app of mediations, calming music and podcast episodes of folks who help you get in a good headspace. It also is trackable on your phone and devices and whenever I use it, my Apple Health app counts it as mindful minutes. Oh and the app lets you manually add the time you spent doing yoga or meditation outside the app. There’s one set by Sara Blondin, that was my go-to last spring and helped me re-emerge a bit this spring.
Shine Textis literally a text that comes to you daily (or an app that incorporates those texts), and there are motivational messages and blog posts from a variety of sources. I like this because it’s dedicated to centering marginalized voices and people, as peer leaders and writers. Several of those writers have excellent newsletters, websites, and counseling practices of their own, so be sure to check them out.
One last Kate Spade/mental health related post— Thereflections of the author of that articleI read on the process of writing that article, meeting here, processing her shock and also processing other grief with unsupportive friends.
On a happier note, it’s festival and Pride season folks. Whether it’s seeing your favorite bands while you sweat the afternoon away or showing your pride for who you are or how you love, or both, be sure to stay hydrated.
Cheerwine is probably not the best solution as its still a soda, despite its deceiving name. However, knowing that the Bed Bath and Beyond that’s also secretly a World Market store at Gallery Place has it is comforting. How I’m just now discovering this is odd, but yes, DC folks who need their Cheerwine fix, this is the exact shelf at the World Market where it is.
One of my favorite city-related projects this week is what’s going on in Chester, Pennsylvania. Chester has been a majority black city for many of its years after it was colonized by the Sweedish from the Lenape. However, this project described in Next Cityshows hope that there won’t be another colonization and a complete community process around this work.
If you’re in Florida and have black kids in your life who are interested in learning about planning, Gigi the Planner is holding two Future Black Planners of America events, one inWest Park and one in Boca Raton. at Florida Atlantic University, who is also co-sponsoring both events.
Those of you who are interested in keeping up with Spaces and Places, the events that have been held in conjunction with the American Planning Association national conferences to bring more local community members into those conversations, that initiative nowhas its own Facebook page. Look out for more information about the 2019 Oakland event in conjunction with San Francisco’s APA national conference.
Congrats to Toni Griffin, a longtime urban planner and consultant, who has won the contract to do transformative and equitable work in St. Louisin an area that greatly needs it.
This only touches on the Lower Broadway part of Nashville and how it’s changed, but trust me, Nashville is changing a lot and I learned so much in both my visits about how much that’s happening.
And howfriction of distancein our communities is something we all complain about but can be devastating for folks who already have a pile of issues.
Why the gig economyjust isn’t workingfor black folks in this town in rural Arkansas.
You may have seen the rap map, butAtlanta Studiesis a good spot for lots of things related to Atlanta, from social issues to the built environment.
Finally, Arlan Hamilton ofBackstage Capital is an inspiration. Listen to the series about her on Gimlet’sStartup Podcast, as well as her own podcastBootstrapped VC, which has reaction shows to the podcast episodes as well as interviews and reflections on entrepreneurship.
One Last Thing
Protest is so much part of D.C., even our statues do it.
That’s all for now. Remember, if you want to get this newsletter in your email, please share your information here:
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