This is The Black Urbanist Weekly with Kristen Jeffers, an email newsletter that highlights the Black Queer Feminist Urbanist thoughts and commentary of me, Kristen E. Jeffers, an internationally-known urban planner, fiber designer, and contributing editor. Think of this as an editorial page column, but directly in your email.
If you’re new here, we normally have six sections: Story of the Week; The Principle Corner; By the Way; On the Shelf, On the Playlist, and Before You Go. You can read all archives right here, on my homepage in our normal format. We also normally drop on Fridays.
However, because I was on location at CNU for the first time since 2018 and in the North Carolina period for the first time since 2019, we kind of missed a week so I could recover and we can get back on my favorite drop day, which is Friday. Last week I focused on my initial thoughts and today, I’ll break down how I feel about conferences like this considering my personal limitations and then next week, I’ll have a breakdown and full audio of my CNU31 panel on media and urbanism, along with assessing what this all means for the home state I love so much to admire from afar.
Story of the Week: The Dots
I’m calling this phenomenon and story, the dots, to put a positive spin on what happened and to not re-trigger anyone who goes through this kind of bodily dysfunction.
I also want to note that what I’m about to tell you first happened in 2019. Actually twice. Just like in Charlotte for the CNU, I was on a big stage explaining my form of urbanism to sizable crowds of people in my home state.
A state that despite not always showing up for Black and queer folks on our big political stages and platforms, with people that show up consistently with laughter, joy, and plates of hot appetizing food.
However, on both of these occasions in 2019 anxiety about doing the talks culminated with the dots.
On one occasion, I made it off-stage, but Les had to guide me back to our nearby hotel. On the other, I basically did the talk high on meds because the dots came 6 hours before showtime.
Then after that last talk, the world changed and an airborne virus blew in that put my dots and anxiety and sinus inflammation on a risk list.
I’ve talked a lot about Les’s risk factors, but, I‘ve had years of fatigue, headaches, allergic reactions in and out of pollen season, and compounding complex PTSD from racist, classist, and queerphobic environments.
But, the dots faded during my virtual speeches, which I would do from a tray table laying semi-flat in bed, taking advantage of being able to rest right up to it and right after.
However, when wearing a respirator coupled with periods of meditation and rest before and after speaking seemed to be working for others, I decided to dip my toe back out again with the same plan.
Plus, I got the invites, which had been drying up again.
In February, I added a new over-the-counter medication and I consolidated my suitcases to not put pressure on my back and shoulders.
And last week, I challenged myself not to carry the entire burden of convincing my home state and the new urbanism movement that I’m worthy.
I came into the room, masked, rested and I just did me.
The Principle Corner
In this section, we step away from the literary expression that opens this newsletter and into the “practical”.
So, for the record, I’m not being flippant by naming that condition as “dots”. But those of you who have those conditions know that sometimes even just reading about them or seeing pictures (or something as simple as aluminum foil that can mimic them), can trigger them.
Plus, living in the limbo that’s complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, post-viral illness, and all the other autoimmune and chronic conditions that can’t just wish or meditate themselves away can be tough.
Plus, I think I struggle the most with how quickly 2019 normal was forced on us, with the side of things being even more expensive, hectic, and orange than they were then.
Yes, I have a care team now, but I still have to wait months sometimes for appointments and hours for treatment if I do go into urgent care. I also have to drive to most of it, but that’s changing as the provider I’m currently under prioritizes care facilities near Metro stations.
Hence why I have this list below, to prepare in case I do fall ill and I’m not near my preferred care team when I do attempt to travel to a conference where I’m either the main speaker or I have a major role. In the explanations in bold, I’ve offered solutions that can go beyond me or reasons why this is a factor for me:
- A day before and a day after where I travel and do nothing but travel and its associated activities. Especially when that travel day involves an airport or a long drive. Especially now that in the said airport, I may need to find an airline lounge where I can distance just enough to eat, possibly with my air purifier plugged in. I also need enough time to not struggle with my suitcases or eat things that cause me diarrhea or gas.
- A day before and a day after where I do nothing of consequence. The day before is when I pack slowly and intentionally, without frenzy or panic. The day after is when I give myself time to rest and reset when my body is most telling me it’s fatigued from all the movement.
- Hybrid, with the virtual option as the backbone, not the afterthought for presentations and key information-sharing — so that I can save all the presentations and look back at all the presentations, even if I did venture into the building. Yes, you can password-protect this, but please, please start prepping all conferences for this, even if it’s just to maximize networking and information-sharing before, during, and after the conference.
- A quiet room on site — This is especially relevant to conferences with lots of people, but especially when I present and I have to work through those anxieties, especially in situations like last week where, despite good intentions for me to not be the “only one” any capacity, I still held it down for a couple of my marginalized identities. But, like the one I encountered at the Allied Media Projects 2018 gathering, it could be just enough stimulation and opportunity for me to meet people.
- Locking in and centering accessibility, including those needs related to air quality and COVID-19, along with inclusion well in advance of the conference’s beginning. So this one has so many levels, I’m making some bullets for this one:
- Checking calendars of nearby cities, especially during June and other months when there are overlapping cultural celebrations and you tend to be a mostly white, mostly cis, mostly straight, and mostly abled convening clustered in restaurants and sometimes on street corners being spectators.
- Building up sponsorship so that you have a true free/low-income ticket that has a low barrier to claiming access. Yes, you can have a registration form, but the scholarship applications or showing certain IDs could just be removed.
- Choosing a venue that allows you to execute b in your budget, an in being part of existing cultural and neighborhood festivals and special events, and d, which will double down on accessibility
- Providing mobility devices, air purification, quiet spaces, tests, and diagnostics –why don’t we have first aid stations and medics on call at major conferences in the first place–and any other tools, methods, or means so that when I or others are in the building, the building doesn’t remind us constantly, that we are othered.
At this moment, I may have to accept that I’m just too sick to participate in certain groups and convenings, despite them being in my interest areas and identity spaces. And that conferences just may not be the focus I need right now, as no conference out there will fix my credit or cure any of our diseases.
All they can do is provide the opportunity for us to come together to tackle all those things so that being diseased and unhoused is something we treat and we care for, versus make into a moral failing.
Next time, I’ll talk about how the media, specfically urbanist media can help with filling in the gaps between in-person convening and virtual meetings. And I’m also going to wrap that up with how my home state, and its media, can be part of facilitating a better future.
By the Way
Here’s where I share other articles/videos that were noteworthy for me this week in this section. Apologies in advance for things behind a paywall. Some things I subscribe to and others I grab just before the wall comes down on me. I will start marking these articles and describing them.
I’m going to drop this article about Southeast Raleigh’s Shaw University here, for us to consider next week when I talk about both the future of the media and the future of my home state to close out this CNU-themed series. I’ll also leave all of your recaps of Charlotte, NC, and the conference for then as well, because that’s truly a whole newsletter for itself.
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As I browsed the internet this week, I was happy to find more articles of people talking about having to slow things down for them, and that they’ve found peace doing so AND that slowing down and connecting is financially sustaining.
First, the creator of Downtime documents the shift from her original newsletter Girls Night In, and the pressure to perform even when creating their own venture.
Then, getting encouragement in seeing how successful Block Club Chicago has been by focusing on the community and What Works’ pointed and spot-on interpretation of how being small and community focused with our media companies, specifically the audio ones, can keep us running, not chasing after VC and other equity capital that requires us to do things for them, that mess us over, and then they end up dumping us anyway to get their money back.
Finally, this article on the evolution of Juneteenth is right where I am with it.
On the Shelf, On the Playlist
My weekly recommendations of books, music, podcasts, and other pop culture
I would have been immersing myself in The Age of Pleasure even if it wasn’t coinciding with Pride in several of the metro regions I’ve lived in over my life. I would have been cheering for this evolution, part of which I called mere weeks ago in this very newsletter, that we get a present-day, vibe-check type album from then. After all, this is the dystopia, we need that record to get us through. And I love Evette Dionne’s read on it and very few others, especially not the folks who think that Janelle deserves to go back into her suit hanger and be a respectability robot.
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And whew, The Ultimatum: Queer Love (this link is full of spoilers if you’ve streamed the show). If anything, this has me working on being a better partner. And that work honestly has been happening here as so much of the anxieties I bring into my own relationship come from overcoming my own shame in being in queerphobic, classist, and ableist environments. Plus, as much as I love my work, once it pays the bills, it needs to be making happiness and joy happen. Also, sadly, I’ve been the avoidant partner and the violent partner. But, I claim that, take responsibility for that and seek to be better. Finally, let this be your lesson if you still haven’t figured out that figuring out your sexuality and gender doesn’t make you a golden person by default, or us golden people. We still got that work to do.
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Still lifting up Southern Urbanism Quarterly. It’s yet another platform of journalism coming out of the South, showing us to be more than helpless and prejudiced.
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And this Tabitha Brown interview came right on time. So many parallels to my journey out here in the NC diaspora and coming back to my authentic self, after hiding, after a first wave of success, after so much.
Before You Go
This is our last section, where I have classified advertisements for others along with nudges to donate to crowdfunding and social justice campaigns but I also advertise things that I’m doing that are for sale or for hire. Rates start at $75 a week for a four-week commitment and $150 for just one week. Learn more and get started with your ad!
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Mutual aid is a big part of this newsletter.
For those of you who can and I know it’s tough out here for a lot of us, like our colleague who could still use our support with her partner’s chronic health challenges and of course, Les’s as she moves into active advocacy around the intersections between endometriosis, other feminine gendered medical conditions, and LGBTQ+ but an extra $20-$50 in these accounts is takeout money, gas/transit money, a doctor’s appointment, whatever they want, which is more than they had before.
I’m adding a link for Project N95 to help folks who still want to use personal protective equipment, but are running into financial hardship now that things like tests and high-quality masks are full price and major institutions have decided to move on. I’m also adding a link for the Entertainment Community Fund and for those in WGA to have relief while they take necessary action to get the funding they deserve for being one of the few industries that can’t be erased (at least for now).
And yes, my yarn-related fundraisers are still going strong, as they too see the value in community uplift and mutual aid. We are directly supporting LolaBean Yarn Co. and Dye Hard Yarns in addition to the spring fundraiser of Knit the Rainbow, a group that works to ensure that knitwear is donated to LGBTQIA+ youth, and raises awareness of queer/trans folks in the yarn and fiber space, is still ongoing.
This is how we as planners and makers can practice solidarity and uplift community groups. If not these campaigns, please find some that are closest to you. I also assume that you do have the financial means to do so as planners, but I know things can be tough for us. But solidarity is free and that starts with speaking up and sharing when you can.
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If you want me to show up on your panel, keynote, or podcast, book a complimentary consultation call. I still have open availability for 2023 and 2024.
If you want to send me money for quick expenses or like a tip jar, you can Venmo me or buy me a Ko-fi. If you become a Patreon, you can do that on a set monthly basis, along with a special thank you note each week! The GoFundMe is still alive if you want to make large donations quickly and you can subscribe on Substack but know that nothing in this newsletter is going behind a paywall, this is considered a love offering. I will be making some Patreon changes and adding a true incentive to Substack.
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I have created a special landing page, www.theblackurbanist.com/books, that’s not only a home for my upcoming volume, A Black Urbanist Journey to a Queer Feminist Future, but all those books in the Black Queer Feminist Urbanist canon. Use this link to purchase from my Bookshop, especially if it’s coming up as an error for you. I’m still trying to figure out why that is and how I can fix it in the future.
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And if you need one more reminder to support my textile and fiber work, head over to www.kristpattern.com.
Until next time,
Kristen