Welcome (back) to The Black Urbanist Weekly. I’m Kristen Jeffers and these are my Black queer feminist urbanist thoughts. I share a reflection up top, then I share other connection points and ways to connect with me in the sections below. I’m back today after several weeks off of this newsletter and my heart and soul are a little raw. I wanted to edit this down, but I couldn’t, I just had to let my fingers go. Plus, today is National Coming Out Day and while some disagree with the notion of coming out, I think it still has value. Read on as I tell you why and what I’ve learned in my two years of being 100% out (and six years of accepting my queerness internally).
Coming out has been the gift that keeps on giving, to my soul. I am now, two years after labeling myself publicly — happily, a genderfluid, feminine-presenting omnisexual person who is still poly, but basically the two relationships involved are with myself and my partner.
Ok, but aren’t we all in relationships with ourselves? We should be, but many aren’t and many do lose themselves in their relationships with other people, romantically, and otherwise.
Something else I’ve learned presenting as one of the “other letters” is that if some gay, lesbian, and sadly even some bisexual and trans people had it their way, people who are gender fluid and sexually fluid would evaporate into the air, for their inability to hold it down in a society that still insists that even people who aren’t in traditional male/female relationships concoct some kind of binary to have order and decency and control over each other.
I’ve also learned that while we all agree that Black is beautiful, we as Black queer people often still crave acceptance. I see disturbing levels of ableism and materialism/capitalism amongst even QTPOC of all shades and ethnicities and I see how African and African diaspora cultures intersect with that.
However, my queerness has made me think harder about what it means to have full autonomy of body, mind, and natural resources. It’s made my urbanism a necessity, not just something nice to have.
Those are my personal thoughts about how my queerness has shaped me in the past two years. Professionally, we’re just getting started with that, here are the three key ways my outward advocacy has been shaped by my queerness.
First, I believe we need sanctuary places for all shades of gender and sexuality — not just the most prosperous or comfortable ones.
Most of you came to this newsletter, especially in the early days, for placemaking and urbanism analysis and so I wanted my first couple of points to speak to how urbanism and design play a direct role in allowing gender and sexual fluidity to not just exist and survive, but thrive and set the tone for moving our culture forward.
Placemaking and keeping must include spaces for socialization. We should be allowed anywhere we want to go and we should have spaces where we connect on what makes us unique and special.
Oh, and you shouldn’t have to make the median area income or above, nor work in one of these spaces, to be able to inhabit them.
Today specifically for those of you who are fortunate to have The Roku Channel, you can see for yourself the impact of having spaces led by women and others who are gender marginalized even within the queer community is not guaranteed and doesn’t always mean gobs of money and support.
However, we need more than the capitalistic bar scene that’s made for hookups and for hooking up only if you look a certain way. There are levels to drag, but not enough places to host those different levels. If we’re going to tell people to read a F*ing book, then we need places to read those books and have quiet conversations.
Don’t get me started on ramps, elevators, and proper ventilation, along with quiet and dark rooms for sensory adjustments (and restrooms). More on that later.
Second, the need for the industry of placemaking/keeping to work through implicit biases and tokenism (along with the work being done around pay equity and hiring equally and equitably)
While I don’t expect solidarity from all of my colleagues, I do try to stay above board and be transparent when I see shady behavior from colleagues, namely some who think that tokenism is still the right way, because it’s better than nothing at all.
And yes, I hear a lot having a partner that’s also in the industry. But. I’m glad she understands a lot of what I go through and I can guide her as we make sense of it all.
But I don’t want this newsletter in this section to become a tea rag either, so I’ll leave it at that.
However, I think we should review how we handle disadvantaged businesses. More cities, namely Baltimore, are including LGBTQIA+ businesses as a protected class. We need implicit bias training especially around understanding how fluidity works and how we have to plan beyond binaries.
And we need to assert that we have the right to exist at work, in whatever gender presentation we are, and that we are professional no matter what. And we don’t need to shrink to stay in a position that doesn’t serve us, because we think we can’t do better at work. I know it can be hard, but we owe this to ourselves to be somewhere, not just after hours, but during hours, that sees us as human.
Finally, we need to be as anti-capitalist and anti-ableist as we are anti-racist and queer/trans-affirming and inclusive.
For the record, I define capitalism as making money on the backs ( sometimes literal, sometimes physical) of other people, rather than working together on an equal and equitable plane to make sure that people can be fairly compensated for their labor.
This is also an illusion to what I’ve said above about my personal disappointment in marginalized communities I’m part of being complicit in the oppressions of others.
However, I do want to commend those actively engaged in mutual aid. Rather than having a reason for needing something, people put up what they need for it or just put it out there for the taking. They barter. They teach all so that more can do certain skills. They work around abilities, instead of punishing others for lack of them.
Now, we are still in a capitalistic society as a whole, so we need to balance paying bills with being generous, but my goal and something I’d like to see the queer community lead on as we organize around our marginalization is figuring out how to take care of folks. Ballroom and chosen family culture is another way we are leading on this.
But that gets us to accessibility. I’ve missed so many “family” gatherings as of late because “family” doesn’t see how vital it is to keep masking. And yes, one-way masking does make a difference, but two-way is even better. If you want to take it back to before the COVID pandemic, to the HIV/AIDS pandemic, we have the tools to make HIV undetectable, but we aren’t there with COVID and similar things are happening to bodies where people are picking up and having enhanced responses to other illnesses that are disabling and sometimes fatal. The MPX response was excellent in that we had a diagnostic tool early enough to prevent disease.
And yes, I know we have to live with COVID, but we have to live with it in a better way than we have been. We have to protect the vulnerable and sometimes the vulnerable will be invisible. And not everyone visible, say someone using a wheelchair, has friends to help them up the steps. In that same spirit, you might be up on your shots and you might have only had mild symptoms, but your partner may be more susceptible. Does that make them less of a person?
Some of us would demand that our identities as gender and sexually fluid people be honored, but we can’t get that same respect when it comes to fair wages and labor. Same with finding an elevator and a mask for the indoor spot and level ground and good wind ventilation outdoors. These things are all important and we need to get it right.
Today as many new people make it known who they are — who boldly walk out the door, please don’t shame them or make them feel guilty for not inviting you in a moment sooner than they did. Don’t tell them they are too loud or too much.
And if you have the means to build and uphold better structures, please do, so our bodies and the air we breathe can just flow today and every day.
By the Way
If you’re new here, I write out my grand thesis of the week above, then I share other articles/videos that were noteworthy for me this week in this section.
I know my hometown is fading in relevancy, but still, I would have loved a little North Carolina skyline analysis to include us!
I recorded two amazing podcast episodes this spring and both of them hit the interwebs this fall. I want to thank The Follow podcast for incorporating so many of my influences as show notes. And the Healing Black Futures podcast for just meeting me there.
Before You Go
Check out some special announcements from me and friends of the platform.
Advertising in this section has helped people find jobs and new opportunities. It also gets you and your newfound commitments to solidarity, justice, belonging, and equity in front of those who are your backbone and base of those commitments. Learn more on how you can purchase ad space!
#
Learn how and what you can book me for 2022 and 2023
#
If you want to support me for any reason, but don’t need anything in return, you can donate to my capital campaign, or Venmo or Cash. App me.
#
My bookshelf over atBookshop.org is very much alive and well, purchase your copies of the books I talked about above, plus more that I’ve designated part of the Black Queer Feminist Urbanist canon, the general urbanism canon, and other lists because you can never have too many books.
#
It’s scarf season and it’s a great time to learn how to make a Kristfinity Scarf! Or if you are in DC on October 16, join me for a granny square demonstration at Eaton DC from 6–8 pm. Your ticket price includes supplies! I will record a portion of this to post later. Special thanks to EatonDC (where I’m a resident fellow this year) and Sweet Pea Fiber(where you might see me at maker’s night just like on the website on Wednesdays).
#
I’ll be live on Patreon, LinkedIn, and YouTube talking about everything I mentioned above and then some for my Open Studio/Office Hours at 1:30 pm Eastern today (10/11). Don’t worry if you can’t watch live, it will be archived publicly on all spaces. I’m also going to try to be live simultaneously around that time on Instagram.
Until next time,
Kristen